An Invite to the Daddy-Daughter Dance....and No Dad.

Dear Gabby-

I’m a single mom, and my kids’ father is not in the picture. At all. How do I explain AND handle various camp and school events that are for kids and their dads? (i.e. Daddy Daughter dance)? It’s hard enough to explain to my kids why he isn’t around, let alone explain why they have to miss out on something simply because an adult can’t take responsibility. 


Single Mama 

Dear Fellow Single Mama-

As I was going through my divorce seven years ago, I often asked my therapist the "What will I tell my kids about their father?" question.  His response still resonates with me to this day. "You don't need to explain anything to your kids. They will figure out who their parents are all by themselves." (And you know what? He was soooo right!)

Now, with THAT burden lifted off of you, let's look for solutions instead! Are there any close male figures in the family who could take the father's place in things like the Daddy-Daughter dance? Ask a grandfather, uncle, good friend of the family, etc. to take her instead (of course, clear with the event coordinators first).  I can think of nothing more special than a male role model in her life, bringing her a flower and inviting her to an event! 

Another option is to use the opportunity to invite her out for your own special evening - a mommy/daughter date, if you will. Let her choose what you will be doing the whole night. She might not be going to the event that her friends are going to, but she's getting a great evening where all the attention is on her!


Beth Chunn, aka Single Working Mom